Jun. 2nd, 2011

violetsnvalium: (Default)
It's still absolutely dysfunctional, you know, but I function pretty well, all things considering. I sit around wise-assing in bars until 7am every day. Every time I manage to hit a really good witticism, they ring the tip bell and high-five. Then I eat strawberries and cream, and lick the bowl. Then I drink tequila, and lick the salt off the waitress.

Then I go home and make quiche, and jam tarts with the leftover pastry, and then I eat it all, and then I play the piano, and then I go back to work. Sometimes I take a nap.

And then my day off arrives. Like yesterday. And then I go to sleep at 8pm and pass out until 11am. Like today.

I am getting massaged today! And then going to the funfair! Because, you know, that's how we roll around here. You get your neck put straight, and then you go and give yourself some whiplash. I should probably have done it the other way round, but didn't think of it.

And then I am lining up Girl Dates. This is complicated for me, because I'm always forgetting and accidentally taking girls to caf├ęs where I've slept with the waitress, and then they get angry when I lipkiss the waiter hello. I can't help it. Monogamy just isn't really my cuppa. But it's still rude to pretend to be listening intently to someone's life story and be groping the waitress's ass at the same time. I can't help it either. I only sleep with girls who have pretty asses.

It's all just toooooooo confuuuuusing. Maybe I should pregame my massage. Probably not.

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violetsnvalium

August 2013

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